my shovel and i..

my shovel and i travel together, digging away at an imaginary hole i've affectionately come to name "foot in my mouth". my future father in law walks around with a similar shovel, as i'm sure a lot of men do. this morning my arms knew no boundaries when conversing or should i say digging with my sweetheart on the phone.. and it goes a little like this:

phone ringing

"Hello" says the incredibly handsome man named eddie
"Hi sweetheart" says the woman on the other side, "i need to buy some clothing" she says with a warm tone.
"what for baby?? you are about to get super fat" says the incredibly handsome and super logical and extremely smart man thinking about how the pregnancy will affect her weight..
"ASSSHOLEE" and she hangs up the phone while extending the middle finger on the other end pointed right at the phone! she sits there and gets more and more angry until finally realizing how lucky she is to be with an AWESOME and SUPER HANDSOME guy named EDDIE! hahaha..

ok so i made the stuff about being super handsome and super smart and logical and just a general awesome dude and how she is the lucky one up.. but the rest is correct..

so you see, my shovel and i walk around hand in hand with no boundaries to keep us in check! we write checks that our mouths can't cash, we eat foot to sustain our energy levels, and we keep digging in an almost comical infinite cycle...

if things keep going this way, i may need one of those bad boys!!!

-ed